The single greatest picture ever taken in my life. We threw Yu-gi-oh cards at the ceiling fan to watch them scatter, and just happened to take a picture right at this exact moment. To this day, this is the only time I’ve ever heard of anyone breaking a ceiling fan blade with cards.
f l a w l e s s
fuckin yu gi oh players
I can hear them crawling, running, chasing me. Chasing after what I hold most dear. What is that you ask? Well, my life, my soul and the utterance which should never be uttered of course.
Explain the life that I have lived if you please. Would you kindly see what I see? I don’t see anything but the darkness in my head. My God, my God, I may as well be dead. Millions of people can never see what I see. Am I the only one? Am I the only sordid brigade to feel this feeling of fear and hatred. Loathing and regret. Marie, Jamie and Maggie, indeed I apologise.
What is this? A door? A wooden, shattered frame and a barely standing wooden door. Mahogany dreams and oak visions. I should enter, no? Yes? Maybe I could, maybe I should. What if my demons should fear me? What if I were to fear the demon? Is it to be feared this door? Is it to be cautioned upon? Marie, Jamie, Maggie. I am sorry.
Marie, Jamie, Maggie. I have killed myself. I am sorry.
Marie, Jamie and Maggie.
I witness, I see, I hope, I dream.
I witness, I see, I hope, I dream.
I see, I hope, I dream.
I see, I dream.
Can there be no solace in this quaint yet terrible sordid cage? This hell once called a place of rest? I’m inside my own head: what a terrible thought. I see darkness; can one see darkness? Is that a thing to see? I hope I see more than this eventually: more than this darkness: I do dream. I witness more than I hope to see, I dream more than I witness than I see. Can’t you just see? Can I not dream in the solace and peace and sordid reality that one can witness and view the predicament that one should never experience nor be in? I hate this hatred that I can only ever dream. I’m inside my own head. Why, oh why, am I the only witness to see the hope that I dream? The sordid dream of hope that I see. I am the eternal witness, the dream within my head. I am the bearer of madness. Enter please. Enter please. Enter into my room instead.
He walked in, a heavy pain beating within his chest. Just ignore it, he stuttered in his head, that should be best.
He wandered over to the warn mahogany table and clutched what used to be his heart. Marie, Jamie and Maggie, I’m sorry, he thought, so strongly that it was heard by the residents in this quaint room. He looked up to the heavens and thought sombre thoughts of freedom and release. He did not even think to notice the monsters for unto him they would feast.
With a heavy heart and a broken body, the man, the poor man, shaked, cried and regretted. He reached into his pocket, mist glazing his mind, he pulled out a packet of cigarettes. Better to go out with a spark than without, he thought for his last thought, as the monsters clutched his heart within their grasp, clawing, gnawing, biting, chewing. They meandered their way into his soul as he smoked, they felt the hot smoke and the tar on their faces, like a sordid betrayal they carried on further, past the soul, into a part of a man where none should tread. A part deeper and more complex than the inside of his head. They call this part of a man one which shouldn’t ever be uttered, his essence, his feeling, more than his being. He shuddered as he felt their black grasp upon the inside of his being, he looked up to the sky. Gazed. Gazed one last time.
"Marie, Jamie and Maggie" he spoke, this time aloud, "soon my dears, soon I shall be with you all, all four of us, hiding in that cloud" and with an internal cry of sorrow, he drew his final breath, and with that his heart stopped beating, his final cry gave out.
He fell to his knees and felt his stomach churn. Although this man was dead, he still had pain to learn. His knees felt shattered as he fell, fell deeper than the floor, like the tendrils of corruption were grasping at him, gaping his mind. He was not to visit that cloud, instead, he’d come inside.
This is 19 year old Marie Fowler. Her cancer just returned, and has been declared terminal. She’s already in Hospice Care. Her final wish is to meet Kellin Quinn from Sleeping With Sirens. Please, make it happen. Spread the word. This girl deserves it.
The small amount of notes on this post worries me.
SIGNAL BOOST. LET’S MAKE THIS HAPPEN.